No! As intriguing as it may sound, I am not here to talk about my relationship.
What I am writing about here is the most interesting concept I have come to understand in my two years (going three) in Canada; women & relationships.
Trust me, it was not an easy task, deciphering the whys, the constant nagging of women in Toronto and their failure at securing a man (for the long term). I mean how hard is it to be with someone? Have a boyfriend and all that jazz? Well let me tell you one thing; it’s not a piece of cake and the root of all evil is not the men themselves as much as these women want you to believe.
It is a complex misunderstanding between both parties, but as you know me, I blame women first and foremost. They tend to quickly point at the opposite sex for all their demise. Yes you bitches!
But first thing first let me tell you a little about where I come from. I come from a city where being in a relationship is not primordial for the survival of women & men alike. You are in a relationship? Good for you! You get married and life goes on. On the other hand, if you’re single then good for you too. Trust me, we don’t go making it our sole purpose in life to have a “boyfriend or girlfriend”. We ride solo and we do not throw ourselves to the first come showing us interest. We don’t go on dates but establish a relationship after a couple of encounters (with the same guy or girl!). Remaining single is a choice we are content with. I can continue but I believe you got my point.
While on the other side of the continent….
In Toronto, boy oh boy! Women have a goal; to mention at the beginning of each sentence “My boyfriend….”. I am not joking, just having those two words in any sentence is jackpot. (Jack? No jackpot, get it?). Check the body language and the tonality at the exact minute they mention “My Boyfriend”. Giggling yet?
Within the two years I have spent it in Toronto I heard many stories of failed “relationships” and heartaches, which worried me at some point. Was I going to become one of those women? God forbid.
Always having doubts at anything coming out of a woman’s mouth, I observed and analyzed the facts, the stories, heard men’s side of the story too. I came to a startling conclusion. Women are living in their own little imaginative fantasy world. Men are not to blame.
Let me elaborate.
Women go on multitude of dates with different men. They invest their time and energy meeting these men, picked up from nightclubs, online websites or on speed dating, rather than focusing on what they are looking for in specific. They don’t know what they want, what their type is and what they want out of a relationship once they have it. They act upon the notion that the more dates they have, the merrier and they aren’t missing out on anything. MOFO anyone?
Moreover, one night-stand is a very acceptable notion in the west. Women need to release, be touched & aroused. It is even encouraged and blessed on (in conversations I have had with these women). The fact that they met in the club, went back home together, and never met again is just fine. Give it a day and they will go on cursing and blaming the same men for not securing a relationship out of it. I thought it was ok to just have sex and move on? What happened Jenny?
Girl, no one wants a relationship with a whore. Don’t shoot the messenger. Yes girl you heard me well! Not even Don wants to introduce you to his parents and have to answer the “How did you meet” questions. Awkward. Am I exaggerating? Let me answer you with this; who is single? Still?
Lucky are those that established communication with their one night –stand counterpart. Tell me when is it that you talk? What do you do when you meet up? “Oh not another sex story Debbie, please. You are not in a relationship. Well not the type you are looking for anyways. Congratulations, you are fuck buddies now. Yes you are”.
Searching for your ‘one’ is not something anyone should shy away from. But the length these women take to find their man and establish a long-term relationship is just shameful. Regardless of the time and effort put into the search, the outcome is very different from the original idea that they had in mind. Women & men have different perspectives from the very beginning. We agree, you (readers) and I that it is a path for a non-committal relationship being paved here. Both parties are enjoying their time and exploring each other (literally); while the men stick to that scenario, the women on the other hand build this fantasy of being in a relationship and hey “My boyfriend and I” (insert giggles here) etc.
I guess they convince themselves that they are in one in order to not be full of regret for giving up their body to a complete stranger the previous weekend.
Why is one nightstand more common in the west than the Middle East?
From the very young age of 18, women are taught to be independent and leave their parental nest to forge their future.
To be honest, 18 is a very young age to be on one’s own, especially that any given teenager is not fully molded into a grown up yet and hasn’t got all the tools (university degree) to throw herself in the work force. These women are looking for security and care. They are longing for their childhood parental nest that was abruptly severed at 18 (lucky are those who had that feeling originally). Finding a man, unconsciously, and establishing that relationship, gives them a sense of being wanted and cared for.
Looking for something that is not there and acting upon it leads to mental breakdown and giving up on a whole concept. Let me be thorough. Looking for a relationship in an established fuck buddy scenario will stress you, eat you up and make you believe that a relationship is not deemed to be further pursued (when all you needed to do was to accept the real situation that you got yourself involved in).
To me the worse is the following; the bashing of the men you got yourself involved with. An open conversation and a clear mind would have led you to either continue or terminate what you had started. Due to your ill-advised mindset, further labeling a whole concept “dating and relationships, love in Toronto” is unacceptable. Kindly refrain from giving out advice on a subject that you clearly haven’t grasped yet but hopefully will one day (maybe).
Before I resume, any of you familiar with online dating?
Apparently this notion started out due to the fact that people are too invested in their work place to have time to go and meet people in social settings. Swipe right to find M. Right. However what was omitted in this whole debacle is the fact that you meet M. Right Now (Big difference sweetie. No I am not playing with words here. It’s legit). Men online are looking for casual hook ups, a release (you’re familiar with the word, right Chantal?) from the routine with no strings attached. They are not looking for Ms. Right, now. Kindly proceed in deactivating your account. Thank you, next.
How about a round of applause? Standing ovation to the powerful men-bashing women who after misunderstanding the concept of a relationship will bend forward & backward secretly and desperately logging online in pursuit of a “boyfriend” (insert giggles here).
How about a round of applause to those women who will continue hunting down men in clubs, sleeping with them and having that walk of shame back home next morning just in time for brunch time with Shanty and Nevi oozing fairytales of her nighty escapade. Flash forward ten days; “asshole” will replace “my boyfriend” in every sentence.
Let’s all give a round of applause to the sad, pathetic women out there in their quest of establishing a boyfriend prior 2020.
Word of advice; Keep your legs closed and your head in check next time you meet a man. Maybe get a dictionary to differentiate terminologies prior applying them to your future status.
Cause, from where I am standing, you look dumb right now. You put on quite a show, got me really going, curtains finally closing, take a bow and bis bis (hopefully not).