Remember a few months back when I shared with you “Part I & Part II ; Your typical characters at the office” (a little refresher, tap on the links that follow Part I; Typical characters at the office.. and Part II; Typical Characters at the office.. ) ?
Well if you liked those blog posts and had a few laughs (I know you have 😉 ), let me present you to a far more entertaining segment in the work place that needs to have a light shined upon ; women (don’t you dare say that you are not given any importance!)
Haha, I can imagine some already regaling at what is to come next.
Sit back and enjoy your typical ladies at work my friends!!
On a more serious tone, meet :
Carrie “Why am I not being promoted yet?”
Carrie has been with the company from day one . Hell, no one even remembers her rotating or ever having a slight stunt in another department. She graduated from an average college and landed her admin position within that summer. Not the brightest of the bunch, socially and intellectually, Carrie would confide (not a secret as you may have noticed) that she deserves to be promoted, granted the number of years she has been with the company. Clearly, the “it is not the quantity but quality” dictum has not reached Carrie’s spectrum. Carrie dearest, X yrs is just a number, perform better and maybe you shall spread your wings and get far( from here..).
“Hi, my name is Dolly, and you are?”
A new hire. Male. 27-33 of age. Dolly is already making way to the copy machine to have a better check on this new recruit. Add a couple of more roundtrips to the bathroom and you hear the un-mistakenly keen voice of Dolly introducing herself to X. Flash forward a few days, Dolly is crushed by the relationship status of Mr. X and patiently awaits the next best thing to come through the door. Dolly hun! You are trying very hard, that eagerness and desperation stunk X’s nostrils (& everyone before and after) at Hi. You are a smart gal (somewhere in there) let me give you an advice just to get you started; Off with the old (tactics) and On with the new (when you discover them). Good luck (till then…).
Abigail “Everyone’s cup of Jo”
Abigail is the designated Jo of the guys in the department. She buddied up with the men and likes to be surrounded at lunch with testosterone. Maybe it compensates the lack of a man in her life? Who knows! She acts and talks gibberish boy-talk (mind you, even her voice is manly…) and eagerly coincides her viewpoints with that of her male colleagues. God forbid someone comes and snatches one of her male friends, Abigail wouldn’t be tolerant nor accepting. She would passive aggressively send her message through. Abigail, my sweet bro, let me tell you one thing; being chum with the boys won’t land you yours, if you know what I am saying. Lose your balls and maybe, just maybe, someone will come along.
Tanya “Lovely dress! we are friends now”
Tanya is an introvert yet she recently made a self discovery: be generous complimenting your colleagues and you will have one thing (among others) that you have been lacking your whole life: Friends. See Tanya mistook the definition of acquaintances/colleagues to that of friendship. Overnight, she wore the social butterfly costume, cap and all, and set to make as many friends as possible within the walls of her cubicle. Now, how many of them have accepted to meet up after work, is a good statistical analysis to ponder on once results are in. How many go out of their way to invite her to Thirsty Thursdays is another angle to reflect on, as well. I guess the revelation of the century is still working out for Tanya.. until that bubble bursts and she is confined into the walls of her flat (like any other night).
Ashanti, “vile and cheeky” and they can be.
Ashanti has not been blessed physically and she knows it. Yet, “women empowerment and embrace your body and flaunt it” & all that jazz, is what Ashanti “is all about”. Don’t get me wrong; yes! for women empowering one another, but when it is only guided to your clique / friends and be damned the rest of us then, No Bitch! Ashanti is vile and jealous and the “why her not me” kinda gal. She will plant a discord between people from the opposite sex because, let’s be honest, she doesn’t remember the last time she had a man of her own. She is the type that walks by you, eyes you from head to toe, because, let’s face it, she wants your shoes and belt that goes with it. Ashanti sweetie, get yourself a proper book on women empowerment, a man and…. daaaaaahling!!!!! please a makeover (I’ll pitch in my fav boutiques for free).
It is sad to see that some hardworking women succeed in establishing themselves socially, professionally and embrace empowerment, only to have idiots like Carrie, Dolly, Abigail, Tanya and Ashanti tarnish it for us all.
Sweethearts, do the rest of us women a favor and go hide under a rock until further notice…