“If you are not happy with the relationship, then end it. Don’t cheat.” but if you want to keep your man, then do the f* effort as well.
Disclaimer: Following my last trip to Beirut, aside from realizing how the city has changed, I kept hearing a recurrent statement from everyone; men and the concept of cheating. I decided to shed light in this post as to why, in my opinion, their men would be cheating on them.
I am the type of woman who has no patience for recurrent nags. You have a problem, let’s talk about it, I’ll give you my advice. Now go and implement the right thing to do but don’t come two weeks later, repeating the same bullshit again without having taken into account what we spoke prior.
When I was living in Beirut, I noticed that the toll of men cheating on their girlfriends, wives, partners is alarmingly high. Blaming it solely on those men is not fair. Yes! You read that well. Women should take accountability as well. No one wakes up one day deciding to have his dick take over his body and goes on a cheating purge. There has been some build up somewhere and here I am jotting down the reasons why your men have cheated on your cute little ass for a while now. Kindly take into account that I have been cheated on as well and I have assumed the reasons (besides him being a jerk). I was at fault as well and lead him to the arms of that woman. I won’t dwell on it because everything happens for a reason. And I am happiest ever been.
Let’s cut to the chase. The following are the reasons why your men would cheat on you.
1- Lack of Sex at home.
This is the most important reason why your man would cheat on you. He is not getting any. Why is that? Darling, sex is important in any relationship. Many would say that it is a catalyst. Isn’t it what drew you both closer at the beginning of your relationship? Why are you being lazy? Why aren’t you in the mood anymore? If there is something turning you off, you should communicate your opinion to your partner in order for him to change/ take care of it. If you do not voice your thoughts, how is he to know the root of the problem within your sexual escapade. Are you punishing him? Well as most women would do when angry against their other half, let me point out that such immature behavior will only lead him to the arms of another woman. Oh no, look! He is at it. And not only that, he is enjoying it while you are confined in your bitter corner scorned as hell. Morale of the story; just speak to him and get busy.
2- Take care of yourself.
At the beginning of every relationship, we are all engrossed in ourselves, i-e taking care of our appearances, our hygiene, our sex- appeal in order to attract and keep the opposite sex hung to us. We take the time to chose our clothing for each outing, do our nails, pamper ourselves at the hairdresser, so on so forth. Once the relationship has been forged and established, we slowly postpone having a pedicure, covering those roots, pick a suitable outfit for date night. I know ” he should get used to the everyday me”, “he needs to see me in my natural habitat”, “he should accept me in all my state” and the bs list go on & on & on.. until one day you wake up and realize your man is not kissing you as he used to, no longer engaging you to have sex, not even lifting a finger to take care of himself when around you (only when out & about in public). Movies may have convinced you that your prince charming is going to accept you the way you are. Bullshit. Hygiene is as simple as math. If you are unappealing to the eye, trust me the crotch will take over and point elsewhere. Morale of the story: Put an effort when you are on a date. He will be grateful and you will thank your stars later on in the wee hours of the night!
3- Sex Addict.
Well I rest my case. I am sorry that you have been linked to a sex addict. I am sure that the beginning of the relationship was a rollercoaster joyride. However, it has taken a dangerous turn when you no longer satisfy his urges and he is having it elsewhere. It is not your fault. You enjoyed it but morale of the story: Thank you, Next!
4- Immature Love.
This is the love where your man has only dated and been in a relationship with you. Whether you have been together since high school or cupid’s arrow has hit him later on in life, he has only been with you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I am not too fond of these relationship, as they lead men to want to try, at some point in the relationship, their luck with someone else. They have built up their confidence and they want to test what’s out there. If he does not cheat, bless your stars you have found yourself a rare breed. However, almost all of them will flirt with the opposite sex and if reciprocated will not hesitate to take it to bed. Morale of the story: Why would you even want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to need constant gratification for his manhood?
5- The sex is boring.
Oh well that is a constant reminder that anything you get used to tends to become obsolete and boring. When it comes to sex, kindly put aside your prudish behavior and get adventurous. Why? Well clearly your man is getting some side action with someone else. Buy that lingerie, have a date night and make your way to the bedroom show him what you are capable of. Men are like kids. Give them that candy they have been longing for and there you have it a happy bf/husband/partner. One girl friend I had met confided how her husband was constantly cheating on her. When i suggested she went to buy some lingerie at VS, the level of shyness and objection that emanated from her mouth, made me stop and realize how unfairly that man must have been treated in bed hence him seeking pleasure elsewhere. I omitted from suggesting to her to buy some sex toys to spice up things. Did not want a heart attack on my conscious. Morale of the story: Make sure sex is very fun, naughty and an adventurous part of your relationship.
6- It’s not about the sex anymore.
You have changed. No not physically but emotionally. You no longer are the woman he fell in love with. Most women who are scorned by their other half, are those who with time, become entitled and bossy, no longer respecting their partners and putting their needs first. With time I understand a lot change. We evolve and circumstances throw us in situations where our personality is at test and we need to take our life in charge. I understand that. But within all this turmoil, you should not forget your partner. Correct me if I am wrong. Furthermore, if you are not bringing value to the relationship, how do you intend on keeping your partner interested in you? If your goal is to go out with your girlfriends for brunches and unnecessarily through life time eventful gathering, trust me he will be shifting his interest (physically and emotionally) to the next smart woman in the vicinity (and trust me there are many of those on parole). Morale of the story: Keep your head on your shoulders and remind yourself that actions have consequences.
7- It is easy.
Blame it on this new era. Social media, debauchery, hook- up culture, among many, are the reasons why men have been tempted into cheating on their partners. It is easy, it is out there, and it is unlimited. So why not? Well quite frankly, we can’t do anything about it. if your man cheated on your for these reasons (of availability) then clearly you are best without him. I rest my case.
My girl friends, I am not blaming you solely for your partner’s escapades. I am merely stating the fact that when your man cheats on you, not only is he to blame but yourself as well. There are many things that you could have done to restrain him from wandering his eyes and.. elsewhere. You need to assume your responsibilities as well. If you are not taking care of your hygiene, self, being adventurous, communicating with him openly of your likes and dislikes, then how would you save your relationship.
Be smart, save yourself from a heart break and hardship, be open!