Whether we want to admit it or not we all have drunk texted someone in the past, more accurately during our early twenties. To those who do not want to admit to this very normal inebriated behavior, let me refresh your memory. * Shattered Glasses Bam.
Here are a few of the drunk texts you might have received in your life time;
- What’s up? / Hey!
Generally you receive this type of two worded texts (or exclamation mark) on any given weekend after wee hours (does Saturday 3.30 am ring a bell? Oh wait-I mean PING!). Surely you don’t expect me to believe that your ‘friend’ texted you so as to inquire about your good health. If he wanted to join you on your outing, trust me you would have received that text prior 10 at night. Girlfriends you forget that you are confiding to the person that observes people and more than most of the time (modest me) gets her analysis right to the core (and yours as well). Why did the texting (one way, mind you) continued for another 30 min? Yes, admit it, it turned into a conversation (monologue who?).
- From your ex?
Three words; In Your Face! This message is an ego booster nothing more, nothing less to the person on the other end of the receiver (especially after a bad breakup initiated by the gentleman / woman in question). This can only mean that you are in his/ she thoughts (especially when drunk). Let’s dig deeper.. Are you really? Most of the time, the person in question is looking for a quick hook-up and what better than the person he was used to for several months (years) because truth be told, he/she lost was out of the game for a while. Fast forward a couple of months, you won’t receive any messages. Fast forward a couple of years, the “let’s go for coffee & catch up” will come rolling. Regret? Always but that’s another story.
- Wrong messages?
These messages make you dread holding your phone the next day. You remember focusing on your phone’s text messages but did you send anything? replied to anyone? Should you go through the texts and calls of the night before? You don’t want to but seriously at one point you are going to flip that phone on. Your nightmare comes to light a few hours later (because first we need to sleep off that hangover a bit). You sent the typical gibberish texts to X : Gh%!^~*BJK!!!!! Thank God he hasn’t responded; that’s a language he does not understand..among other things! (Yes yes, that’s a proof that the lack of communication was real during the relationship!!).
- Blanking ?
One of my favorite is ‘accidentally’ sending him a blank text. Worse case scenario you can blame the phone for sending it by mistake. Damn you technology!!! But wait we are no longer in the 2000 where a phone actually could send mistakenly blank texts. Smartphones are– yes, smart those days. First they have to be unlocked, then that green icon should be pressed (WhatsApp is free) or that text icon(no charges in some countries), and then find the contact number (most of the time, he/she is blocked so…number where you at?) Ok you got my point. Don’t blank message anyone. You are taking considerable effort in making a point (and no one ever believes a blank message incident).
- FB messenger too?
You have an infinite block list on your phone? So do I. But when there is a will, there is a way; Facebook messenger! Like Trump said it over and over again > What a mess!!! Let’s just say that I uninstalled that option from my phone. Trust me you do not wanna receive a drunk text when out and about, from someone who has noticed that he cannot reach you through proper phone channels (whatsapp, plain text messaging..). Lately, the trend has been to DM on IG. Like I said, when there is a way, there is a will. Make sure to block him/her on every social media channel you are registered in. I remember I once received a drunk essay from a certain acquaintance. With the time difference between Beirut & Toronto, I had read that message and several hours later it got deleted by that person. Yes he woke up, remembered his blunder, erased the message but forgot to take into consideration the time difference. Damage was done, text was screen shot and sent to the bffs #SorryNotSorry.
There is no shame in drunk texting. We all did it. We might not have been proud about it but our sole excuse is that we learn from our mistakes. Drunk texting is an excuse when you are in your twenties. But when you have entered your mid 30s and you are still being drunk on weekends and texting incomprehensibly then I can only manage to tell you this : You are a pathetic loser. Get a life boy!
-and from the bottom of my heart I hope my boy will read this blogpost because next year his drunk texting will hit the decade. Pathetic or persistent? I let you decide!!!