Awarded the Public Transit Transport of the year (2017) you would imagine that you are going to be hoping on and off an excellent public mean of transportation and then reality hits and you are stuck in between Eglinton and Lawrence in what is the slowest ride of your life. Why? no clue, the subway just decided to hit a slow motion button to the exasperation of its passengers.
When I moved back in summer and came to take the subway for the first time, I was perplexed at its sight. That fade metallic grey color did not soothe my eyes nor did I feel I was going to hit it off like I did back in London with its famous “Mind the Gap” Tube.
With the “in your face” reminder of its award plastered on each compartment door, I gave it the benefit of doubt; “Patyl stop nagging, so long are gone the days of the Benz, this your transport now, deal with it”. And I believe I have ever since my London tube days. But frankly, TTC really, Transport of the year? So many trivial points should be dealt and resumed before shouting from the top of your lungs your cherished award (because that is what I feel it is doing when all those plastered widget pass by before making a stop and inviting me in its station wagon).
TTC do you want me to start with the information that is blasted by your conductor informing us of certain delays? Do you want me to point out how each message blasted is incomprehensible by all of us ( believe me we take the time to turn off our music, put down our earphones just to hear the low voiced mumble and shrug it off and resume to our music). Some time I wonder if what I heard is actually English!
TTC I have a question and between two us girlies, when was the last time you took a thorough bath? I mean not counting the regular tummy rub you receive from the cleaning service team in between stops! Seriously if you smelt yourself sometimes you would drop dead from stench (especially Line 2, you left out little sod!!)
TTC don’t you believe in equality? I thought that was what Canada was all about- equality between gender, rights for all and everything and etc… (List can go on and on). Don’t you believe that you should be entertaining what you got before boasting about the extension lines you are adding up to your very minimal itinerary plan? Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that you are taking into consideration your citizens living in remote areas and offering them an easy quick ride to the core of your city, however shouldn’t you maintain and upgrade what you already have first. Yes I am talking about the Line 2 compartments – transport aesthetic. I gag each and every time I have to take that line to go somewhere. I am sorry to be blunt but a good relationship is all about transparency and directness, right? Don’t give me that look, we are going to make it work! I promise!!
My TTC, oh my TTC, what happens on Saturday and Sunday of each given random weekend? why the on-going closures each and every time? Is it too much partying into the night that gives you a heads on migraine? Last time I checked you resumed your partying on a Friday night around 2am (good girl!). Why can’t you do your works once and for all instead of surprising us on any given Saturday morning when trying to be on time to our appointment? But I must give you a star on the shuttle bus replacement on stand. Good job!
Now my dear readers you might be relieved that some one took the time to voice your concerns and irritation at the TTC in a blog post but here is when I turn around at you and stress this:
The TTC is not your kitchen. Last time I checked the subway is a means of transportation and not your dining table. What is it with you opening your tupperware content and with a knife and fork (Thank God!) eat your lunch on your way back home or in between rush meetings? Isn’t it sufficient that we are stuck in a closed space for the duration of our journey, breathing recyclable air from the vent, add to that the aromas of your exotic cuisine. Think about that next time you are about to feast on your way back home.
People, people have you ever heard of the following saying “Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one after 5 minutes” ? Well now you have. Why run and stumble past us coming up the escalator especially after hearing the bell ring informing that the train is leaving? It rang = it is leaving. Your sprint down the stairs is not going to make any difference nor magically open the doors for your truly. I would suggest next time to leave your house 5 minutes earlier than usual. Keep the sprinting for your after work gym session!
Oh I am not done yet.
Your bags should not have the privilege of sitting next to you. Don’t give me that look Miss? That LV bag can be placed on your legs for the remaining of your trip!
What do you always leave the middle seat vacant? I wouldn’t mind squashing myself in between you two and don’t huff puff when I sit next to you sir, ma’am. Last time I checked, it is a seat, i-e to sit.
My favorite is the following; upon hearing that the train is arriving to destination, everyone stands up and queues to go off. Hold down your horses people, we still have a mere 2min to destination (sometimes more, when the subway graciously decides to go all slow motion at the last moment) why the rush? You are all going off the train and onto your beloved stairs (please run run and stumble the rushers on their way down- that sight sore for eyes, when two collide) to your end location.
Last but not least, I believe that you should learn from your UK counterparts that when up and down the escalator, please stand to the right and yield the way for those who are moving up and down (manually) quickly. It is frustrating when there is commotion on the stairwells because of lack of discipline.
TTC our relationship is not going to resume soon. We are stuck with one another for many years to come. I hope that you did not take my bluntness very personally. I just like to set the tone from the beginning of my relationships in order to know what to expect from one other. Now that I have made myself clear, let me take you out for a ride!
My treat, I owe you that 😉